When your mom is sold-out for Jesus, there are just certain experiences you have that other people cannot understand or even fathom. Now I don't mean, “if your mom goes to church every Sunday”, I mean if your mom is a whole entire prayer warrior slash soldier for the Lord. That being said, this post is for all my saints out there who couldn't watch MTVJams or BET until their teenage years, because your momma "didn't want them spirits in her house”. Now, my mom is a unique breed, so I don't expect ANYONE to relate to this entire post. But if just two out of the six listed make you go, "Bruh. YES!"
... Then your mother is indeed a prayer warrior.
1.
Some children rise each morning to the hums and chirps of birds, in the likeness of Cinderella or Snow White. Most children need a handy-dandy alarm clock to get them up and out of bed promptly. But you, the child of a prayer warrior, will always start your day in a special way. You need not set nary an alarm, because best believe your mom's alarm is set to buzz at The Crack of Dawn O'Clock each and every morning so she can have what is referred to as: "Quiet Time With God".
Plot-twist, IT ISN'T QUIET.
At all.
In fact, it sounds something like Juanita Bynum or Shekinah Glory blasting through the house combined with each one of these GIFs if they were audible:
Who needs alarms or birds, am I right?!
2.
Miss a church service? Tuh. NEVER. While some people only show up to church on Christmas or Easter Sunday, you don't judge them, however, you cannot relate. Honey, your mother is a soldier for the Lord, and she simply cannot get enough of The Word. You will be present for the morning service and the afternoon service unless somebody is EXTREMELY sick - and even then, there is a high chance your mom will think the cure is the anointing flowing throughout the sanctuary.
Oh, and don't let there be a Sunday where your pastor is guest-preaching at somebody else's church for an EVENING service, or you can count on getting a TRIPLE dose of Jesus.
3.
God bless the day that you got your own driver's license and didn't need rides anymore. It is very rare that you will ever make it out of the front-door on time relying on your mom who is FIRED UP FOR JESUS, typically due to two reasons:
A. Right when your mom grabs her coat and it seems you all are headed out of the door, the house phone will conveniently ring. It won't be a bill collector. It won't be a dear friend or relative calling just to say, "Hello." It will always be either Sister Sheila or Brother Marcus, calling "real quick" about their most recent tribulation that they need your mom to "touch and agree" with them on.
And I just know you don't expect your mother, with all that anointing, to put the phone down when the Lord is calling upon her to be a vessel!
B. Now, if your mom is an elite prayer warrior, she has a whole Prayer CLOSET. (This is a thing. Google it if you don't believe me. They're even on Pinterest, I kid you not.) Sometimes, your mom will conveniently disappear into that closet to talk to God right before it's time for her to take you somewhere. It starts with her just wanting to lightly anoint her head with oil, then minutes later it turns into rounds of:
At which point, it is in your best interest to just go hang your coat up beloved. She may not come out of her Prayer Closet until tomorrow. You think your mom has a clock in her Prayer Closet? What, you just expect her to put a time limit on JESUS?! (And, NO, you canNOT just knock on the door and say, "Hey mom, time to go. Stop talking to Jesus.")
4.
You will never win an argument with her. Not a solitary one.
Not just because she can outwit you.
Or out-yell you.
Or because she has the threat of punishment on her side.
Not even just because she can flash that Black Mom Look that lets you know Christmas is finna be cancelled if she hears another peep.
You will truly never build a better case than your mother's. Right when you think you’ve won she’s flipped the entire verbal exchange so that you're not even arguing with HER anymore…
you're arguing with JESUS.
After coming at your sanctified mother with nothing but straight facts, she will do what she does best: pull out a bible scripture to apply to her current situation. In most cases, she will hit you with this one hitter quitter to trump any debate on your end:
"Children, obey your parents in ALL things for this is WELL PLEASING to the Lord."
You can't counter-argue, God bruh. Now, she's just lookin' at you with one hand on her hip daring you to break one of the Ten Commandments like, "Checkmate."
5.
All prayer warriors are track stars. No, really. It's proven. And you will have no idea until that one Sunday when your mom's spirit gets so excited that she has to take a LAP.
Typically, your mother is known to stomp and shout during many-a-church service. But one special Sunday, when the spirit hits her extra hard, she just takes off running. Whether she be 30 years old or 60, the holy spirit has her breaking Jackie Joyner Kercee's records on a praise-lap around the sanctuary. And as you, shocked and amazed, watch her circle for a third lap without any signs of slowing or fatigue, you can affirm, without a shadow of a doubt, that God is real.
6.
Everybody has a cute little baby picture dressed up as a pumpkin for their first Halloween, right?!
There is absolutely no chance that your mother will betray God and dress you up for Lucifer's holiday. Rather, you will spend each Hallow's Eve at church for Hallelujah Night, praying for the wayward souls who run the streets in costume.
(Also, the note that your mother wrote to the teacher is likely the reason your elementary school class had to call the Halloween Party a "Harvest Party", and decorate with leaves instead of jack-o-lanterns.)